I smell dog farts.

My daughter is totally nuts. As is any other three year old. But I think she is definitely unique in her, um, abilities?

I am a very outgoing person, and lack many social graces. I'll own up to that. And my daughter is following right along in  my footsteps. Which is odd, considering I wasn't like that as a child, and her father never has been or ever will be.

We were taking our pup on a walk at the park this afternoon after dropping the hubs off at work. He has been feeling kind of down lately, so last night I cooked him a special dinner (scallops, roasted asparagus with mushrooms, butter parsley potatoes, and corn) and bought him a special treat - olives stuffed with chorizo. Apparently, he really likes them, and sent me a text describing how much he enjoyed them. Let's just say he compares olives to me, in a married sense. There's another gentlemen walking the trail back to the parking lot while I am reading this message, and I laughed out loud. Little girl asks "what's your deal mom?" I have got to watch what I say around her! I tell her that daddy sent me a gross message. "Oh, daddy's gross?" I said "yep, he's pretty gross." She says "Bella's gross, I smell her dog farts." Then she looks at this other guy and says "that guy is gross too. I smell his farts."

While the guy didn't turn and look at me, I saw him tense up. I told her to say she was sorry, and she did, however, that guy - who is frequently there at the same time as we are - will forever remember me as the mother of the child who could smell his farts.

And it's only 3. I have a whole day of fart smelling ahead of me.

The Difficulties of Being a Sarcastic Mother

I am the 25 year old mother of a beautiful, exhausting, and all around amazing 3 year old little girl. My difficulty, is, of course, that I'm only 25, and am still just a kid myself. I have a problem talking to my kid like she's a toddler, and not one of my girlfriends. The result of a Sarcastic Mother is a Sarcastic Toddler.

For example, she heard me tell my husband earlier this week "Of course I will do that for you." I said it in a very sarcastic tone - sometimes you just get tired of doing, well, anything! So, all day long, she has said "Of course Mom" in the exact same tone. Not only does she repeat it exactly as I have, but she is using it correctly. Mind=Blown. I forget how you have to watch what you say around little ones, because they repeat exactly what you say!! Especially when you have one that figures out how to use it in the way that irritates you the most.

She really is a blessing in my life. She came at a time when we all needed her. I had just suffered a miscarriage. My (now) husband was suffering through some major personal difficulties (who isn't?), and my mother's father had just passed away.

She has taught me more about life than any other lesson I have learned at work or school ever has. And at the same time, has annoyed the snot out of me more than any other Miley Cyrus song ever has. (If you can't tell, I hate Miley Cyrus). At this exact moment, it's 10:12 pm, we're still up because we have to pick daddy up from work, and she will not SHUT UP. I know, I should be blessed to have a little girl who is so full of life, and whose vocabulary is so well developed (did I use the right form of whose there? My grammar is almost worse than hers). However, when you listen to the same three lines of the song "Let It Go" for the thousandth time as performed by a child who demands total silence and your complete, undivided attention for her performance, you get a little sick of it. Oh, and now she's trying to comb my hair with her Barbie's hairbrush.

Any hooters, I hope this made you smile, and that you enjoyed the read. If not, carry on and good day to you. You should learn to lighten up.

Thanks everyone!

Jessie